


i'll never turn back time

by DesertLily



Series: Whumptober 2020 [25]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Amnesia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-It: s01e06 Rare Species, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27210046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: Jaskier loses his memories of what happened on the mountain. Geralt isn't so lucky.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Whumptober 2020 [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946296
Comments: 5
Kudos: 164
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	i'll never turn back time

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly not sure how I feel about this. A slightly late post for whumptober day twenty five: Amnesia

Jaskier knew there was something...missing. There was something inside his mind that just wouldn’t quite  _ click _ . But he mostly put it down to a forgotten song or forgetting the name of one of his many, many one night stands. Nothing of importance. Nothing that he had to worry about, at least. Still, he was full of a sense of uneasiness. But that didn’t matter. What  _ did  _ matter was hunting down his darling dearest witcher. For a reason Jaskier couldn’t quite remember, the two had been separated at some point. And if he wasn’t with Geralt...Well, who else was Jaskier supposed to write songs about and fawn over?Honestly, it was entirely irresponsible of the witcher to just wander off without him! 

Still, it wasn’t too hard to track Geralt down. A surprisingly small number of people fit the description of ‘strong grumpy bastard, dressed in all black with white hair’. Not to mention how Roach seemed to recognise him on sight. She was rather smart for a horse  _ and Geralt never went anywhere without her _ . So he took his time fussing over the horse and making sure she got the love she deserved. Then a very familiar voice rang out from behind him. 

“...Jaskier?” He hadn’t expected the amount of disbelief and relief that filled Geralt’s voice. “You came back.” Turning to face the man, Jaskier didn’t get the chance to respond before the witcher -  _ his _ witcher - was pulling him close. And  _ that _ was definitely unexpected. Since when was Geralt anything other than emotionally stunted? And since when did he hug Jaskier? Not that he was complaining. 

It was with slight hesitance that he returned the hug, wrapping his arms around the other man as Roach snorted behind them. “Says the man who left me behind.” He couldn’t help but deadpan. “Really, I thought we were over that by this point. You, my lovely witcher, are stuck with me as your humble bard! No matter how many times you try to leave me behind.” 

Geralt tensed up at that, looking down at him with confusion in his eyes. “But the mountain…” A slight growl escaped him at the blank look Jaskier offered. “Fuck!” Well, that was never good. Not in the slightest. Especially given how abruptly the witcher stepped back. “Jaskier. What’s the last thing you remember? What’s the last thing we did together?” 

“Really, you’re being ridiculous! You know that already, Geralt!” Unsurprisingly, the witcher glared down at him. Jaskier rolled his eyes. “The last job we dealt with was a banshee, followed by the townsfolk trying to con you out of the gold they owed you.” He spoke slowly, as if stating the obvious. 

The look of almost-pity in Geralt’s eyes was not a good sign. “Jaskier, that was almost a year ago.” A sinking feeling filled his stomach. No. That couldn’t be right! It couldn’t be! He’d remember if it had been that long! People didn’t just...go around forgetting an entire year of their life! “Something’s happened to you.” He tilted Jaskier’s head up, staring into his eyes and for whatever reason, Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to look away. “...There are some things best discussed in private.” 

That was how Jaskier found himself sprawled out rather dramatically on Geralt’s bed at the local inn whilst said man paced across the room. “...So what you’re trying to tell me is that I’ve somehow managed to piss off some witch or sorcerer enough that they messed with my memory?” He slumped back against the pillows. “Either that, or I wallowed in self-pity enough that I  _ asked _ someone to take them away.” Jaskier rolled his eyes. “That’s absurd, Geralt!” 

“And do you have some sort of better idea?” Geralt ran a hand through his hair out of pure frustration. “There are those that would take memories - ones of importance - in exchange for services but I’ve never seen it like this. Not with a year’s worth of memory.” His pacing just grew more erratic. “...I can’t fix this, Jaskier. Even...Even if I had a way of contacting Yenn then I don’t even know if she’d be able to fix this.” A bad taste filled his mouth at the mention of Yennefer. Jealousy always tasted foul. 

Jaskier thought for a moment before sitting up. “Then it’s simple. You just tell me what I missed!” Geralt blinked. “I know you aren’t  _ nearly _ as good of a story teller as I am, but I’m sure you’ve picked up enough to be able to at least tell a coherent story.” He hummed, reaching for his lute in order to pluck it. “Of course, I’m not asking you to sing. Gods know I’m not cruel enough to do that. Just...tell me what happened.” 

Geralt did not speak for a while as he moved to sit besides Jaskier on the bed. “I fucked up. Badly.” Well, it wouldn’t be for the first time. Still, Jaskier waited for him to continue. “We...We were on a mountain. An expedition of sorts to deal with a dragon. Things went wrong, Yennefer left, and I...I blamed you for things I had no right to blame you for.” His voice was quiet for once. Remorseful, even. “So you left and I have not seen you since.” 

At the back of Jaskier’s mind, a single sentence seemed to echo. “ _ If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off of my hands _ .” The words sent a shiver down his spine. 

Jaskier forced himself to smile. “I-I can hardly hold you accountable for something I have no memory of.” Even if he knew he should. He should be angry or upset or...Something. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t quite bring himself to be. Jaskier wasn’t good at staying angry at Geralt. Most likely a side effect of something the bard had a terrible habit of doing; giving his heart away without question. “So, if you’re not opposed to the idea, I’d rather like to stick around.” 

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. “Damn it, Jaskier!” His voice was full of anger but he couldn’t quite decipher who it was aimed at. “What happens the next time I hurt you? Or the time after that?! What happens when you don’t just...forget? Or worse, what happens when you remember?” Geralt looked lost. “I...I don’t do friends, and I certainly don’t do love. But you...You’ve dragged me into uncharted territory, Jaskier, and I’ll never know how to handle it.”

With some hesitance, he reached for the witcher’s hand and intertwined their fingers. “You’re not a fool, Geralt. You learn from your mistakes just as I learn from me. I...I trust you not to hurt me again.” It was a foolish trust, he knew, but Geralt had always looked out for him; always kept him safe. And everyone made mistakes occasionally. 

“You shouldn’t.” 

“When have I ever acted in my self-interest when it comes to you?” He pressed his lips against the witcher’s and just for a moment, things felt okay. Jaskier wasn’t sure if he’d ever remember the mountain or if Geralt would ever forget what he had said but it didn’t matter. Not anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated or hmu @ desert-lily on tumblr


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